I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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