Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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