how can u be prego again
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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