I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
