i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
