When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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