We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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