Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
