the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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