i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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