Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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