Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
