Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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