Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
