You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
