Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
