That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
