Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
