I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
