At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
