I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
