After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize