She's JV to your varsity
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Randomize
