I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
