We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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