You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
