remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I think my moral compass just broke
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