U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
