I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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