i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
