Define "chronic" masturbator.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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