ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
