I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
