I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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