Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
