there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
