ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Rumble strips road head = magical
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
