so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
