I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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