It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize