don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Randomize