My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
