You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
