God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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