im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
