Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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