K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
