found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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