Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
