The maid of honor just puked.
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
