fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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