Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
