Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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