thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Do vagina's smell?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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