she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
