take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize