so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
zippers are such a cool invention
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
