I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
