sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize