What did we do last night that was yellow?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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