she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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