he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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